ammogirl

Okay, you guys asked so…my One Unusual Talent: (which is the certainly not THAT unusual, there has to be somebody out there that can do this) touching my elbows behind my back:

So it’s not a very good example, because I had to use an intricate tripod/makeshift stand featuring my Twinings English Breakfast Tea box and an upside down mug AND engage the camera timer which went off like 2 milliseconds too early.  But you get the idea now, right?  So, try it: I am positive somebody else will be able do it too.  By the way, aren’t those great comfies I’m sporting?  You can tell by the baggy stretched out-ed-ness of the ass that they are my favorite.  Comfort AND cutie cuteness - ahhh, Victoria’s Secret comfies, I heart you.

Anyway, so I went to another softball game today.  The weather was nice when I set out towards the field, in my capris and my ammogirl jersey and the cutest shoes in the entire world, my new strappy, little espradrilles, but about 10 minutes in, the wind started blowing in these clouds out of NOWHERE.  I mean it was a little overcast, but there were no rain clouds in site, and then BLAM!  Attack of the nimbostratus! I knew the rain was inevitable, and wanted to immediately leave, but no!  I am hardcore fan!  I support my teams, through thick and thin! Through bad weather and good!  Through wins and losses! (Anddd….that’s a fortunate thing, since, uhhmmm…go Niners!  This is gonna be the year!) So I gathered all my dedicated fan-ness around me and did not leave until the very end.  And let me remind you that I was wearing exactly the worst shoes ever (strappy little ROPE espradrilles) to be standing in the mud, while it is raining.  By the time I got home I was totally drenched.  It was a fun way to spend the afternoon, really. 

So, I realized something today, about me and talking.  Wait, I realized TWO things today, the second of which I want to point out before I get to the first thing - today I sent my fellow co-worker and co-eater of chow hall cuisine Matt an email that said "it is raining.  do you still want to go to the chow hall?  Or should we wait until later and play it by ear?"  And then I read what I had written and discovered it made absolutely no sense whatsoever to me.  So THEN I wrote, "What does play it by ear mean anyway?  Is that a saying?  Am I losing my mind?" And yes, I know it has to do with playing music (or..something) but WHY is it used when planning things that are completely unmusical?  It makes no sense!  It doesn’t even sound right!

!!!!!!!

Anyway.  I guess you can say I am a little bewildered by that phrase, is all.  Now, on to the FIRST thing: I LIKE TO TALK.  The minute I met up with Matt to go to the chow hall, I started talking and DID.NOT.STOP until one hour later when I was three quarters through a story that was so rambling and pointless even I had lost track.  That was when I stopped and said to Matt (and this is the actual realizing part) "Man, I guess on workdays I get all my talking out of the way, because I haven’t really talked to anyone today, until now!" and Matt said "Yeah, and I’m just sitting here going ahhhhhhh!" which he said while plugging his ears and grimacing in pain.  So, I guess I must have a certain subconcious quota of words I must release onto whoever will listen each day, and it seems that even if I only have a limited amount of time, I will do what I can to get those words out.  Even if it means just spouting off random babble that makes ABSOLUTELY no sense.  It’s…well, it’s sort of like today’s post!  Rambling babble!

What else can I talk about!  My poor sister in law Christy who is now like 17 thousand days overdue?  I keep thinking to myself, aaaanyyy minute now that phone will ring!  Surely now!  Now! She’s having it right now, I know it!  But, sadly - no.  Maybe if every single person who reads this sends a little telepathic pitocin her way it will work.  Anyway, I hope she has it soon, because seriously, there is a point in your pregnancy when you are just like, GOD get this thing the HELL OUT OF ME.  And while Christy is wayyyy more good natured than I am and never complains, EVER, I’m sure even she is pretty much over it. 

…okay, I’m done.  I mean, I’m NOT, I could go on for days, but then you would look at my little tagline up at the top of the page and say, "For crap’s SAKE Treena, PROBABLY?" so I will just…go now.

CIAO!!

I just got back from a softball tournament, which AMMO accidentally got knocked out of, but we all (around…50 of us?  I’m not sure) stuck around for the rest of the games to either cheer or totally heckle, depending on who was playing.  The very last game of the evening was Loaders vs. Cops, and for those who aren’t AMMO, let me explain: AMMO has a FIERCE rivalry with the Loaders, and the Cops just hate us sooooo…..it was an interesting match up, for sure.  It was a little confusing, deciding who to heckle more, but in the end, the hatred of the Loaders won out.  I don’t think I will ever again see in my military career 50+ AMMO troops standing around, cheering on the cops.  We all had on our AMMO jerseys too…mine says ammogirl on the back, of course.  There are pics…somewhere…on somebodies camera…I will get my hands on them somehow and post them soon, I promise.

Anyway, since it is nearly 11pm and I have very little time to get a post written, edited and published before midnight, I am stealing this from Kay, who gets TEN gold stars, just because.  There is actually supposed to be two pics with this, one of me when I was little, and one of me now; but I don’t have any pics of me when I was a little girl, not here anyway, so the ABC’s of ammogirl is all you get!

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Accent: Like, for some reason, people always think that I am from California, but I sooo am not.  I am totally from Oregon, where we don’t have accents.  But people still call me a Valley Girl, which is so old it’s like, you know, new again.

Booze: I like wine.  I’ll drink other stuff if I have to, but I seriously would just prefer wine over anything else.

Chore I hate: I hate hate HATE folding laundry.  It’s the WORST CHORE EVER.

Dog or cat: Right now we just have cats because we are never home.  HOWEVER, my cats are totally cool.  The day I retire, though, I’m getting myself a dog, and I am very partial to yorkies .  And yes, I will dress my dog up, and put ribbons in it’s fur, and carry it around like a new accessory.

Essential electronics: Computer

Favorite perfume: Burberry Tender Touch, Clinique Happy Heart

Gold or silver: Of the two, silver; but I prefer platinum

Hometown: Lincoln City, Oregon

Insomnia: Yes.  I am a TERRIBLE sleeper

Job title: NCOIC, Munitions Accountability

Kids: Two fabulous daughters, 12 and 10

Living arrangements: Well, my HOME is in California with John and the girls, in the house we bought in 2003.  But technically, I live by myself in a dorm room in South Korea.

Most admirable trait: I can make people laugh

Number of sexual partners: I’m a virgin, remember? (ahem..my parents read this…)

Overnight hospital stays: Well, I had a really bad allergic reaction/hives attack when I was 3, my whole body puffed up and my parents took me to the hospital.  I stayed overnight then…they never did find out what caused that.  Besides that, twice, when the girls were born.

Phobias: Crowds.  Moths, spiders, unglazed pottery, hair, lint…we’ve been over all this already

Quote: "Among those whom I like or admire, I can find no common denominator, but among those whom I love, I can: all of them make me laugh."  W.H. Auden

Religion: Nope

Siblings: Four: two brothers, two sisters, all older

Time I wake up: Weekdays: 430-5; Weekends: when my eyes open

Unusual talent or skill: I can touch my elbows together behind my back

Vegetable I refuse to eat: Okra

Worst habit: Worrying (I think!! Oh gosh, what if that’s the wrong one?!)

X-rays: Tailbone. Ankle. Teeth. Mammogram. Chest.

Yummy foods I make: No bake cookies, kick ass spaghetti, and the most fabulous green salad you will ever eat

Zodiac sign: Leo.  From Astrology.com: Leo is symbolized by the Lion. You’re stubborn yet impulsive. You’re also showy, dramatic and sometimes vain. You have a sunny demeanor and love to be the center of your loved ones’ adoration. You’d make a great actor; in fact, many actors are born under a Leo Sun.  Yup.  Sounds like me.

There you have it, ammogirl A-Z!  Just in time - it’s 11:49pm!  Time to get this thing published!!!

Auf..awww forget it.  That’s too hard to type!

CIAO!

Whose blog is read by the most fabulous people in the world?  That’s right - MINE!   I sat down to read my comments this morning and it was immediate crycrycry.  Thanks, you guys…from the bottom of my heart. 

Anyhow, all this talk about me being adventurous makes me want to point out that…I’m really not.  No, really.  You guys, joining the military wasn’t adventurous.  It was IMPULSIVE.  I only did it because I had just moved back from England (NOT ADVENTUROUS-LY) and was dying to go back, plus my sister was moving to Germany and I wasn’t sure what to do with my life without her bossing me around.  Anything since then that I’ve done was only because I was forced to.  Kuwait?  Not Adventurous: forced.  Korea? Definitely Not Adventurous, I was a non-volunteer so again: forced.  I seriously am the world’s biggest chicken, and I am afraid of everything new.  John?  Can you please back me up?  Yeah, he knows, because poor him, he’s the one who has to convince me to do anything.  In fact, if there is anything adventurous about me, it’s the adventure John has while trying to navigate my moods, ha ha. 

Let’s take for example….ohhh….snorkeling.  Snorkeling is fun, right? Yes, if you ARE NOT ME. If you are me, however, this is how your first snorkeling experience went:
    
…..(struggling to put on fins) nothing FITS!  JOHN! GOD! (practicing the snorkel breathing thing) Ugghhhasfh!!!!!  This isn’t WORKING!  JOHHHN!  GOD! (snorkeling along, and a fish gently brushes my leg) AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!  They are ATTACKING ME!!! JOHHHHHHHHNNNNNN!!!!! GOD! This is SO STUPID! JOHN! John? (looking around for John, but John has mysteriously drifted away from me).

Yeah.  While I still try to snorkel (the operative word being TRY), I will never be known as the female Jacques Cousteau or anything.  I can’t hang with the getting touched by fish thing…and I was constantly being driven perilously close to the razor sharp edges of the coral, and there were…sharks…everywhere.  THERE WAS!  And bottomless depths!  And HUMONGOUS SEA CREATURES!  And that one fish, you know…you see it in like, the encyclopedia under "deep sea creatures", the one that has ginormous teeth?  Yes you do!  It’s this one!  And THIS!  I’m telling you, I have seen them all!  The ocean is SCARY!

But that’s just one example.  Trust me on this, me experiencing anything new will always go like this: 1. John will suggest we (I) try a new thing  2. I will come up with 1,729 reasons why I will die trying this new thing 3. John will ignore me, and will make me try anyway 4. I will not immediately get the hang of the new thing 5. I will get frustrated and anxious and pissed because of ineptitude at new thing 6. I will tell John it is all his fault, that EVERYTHING is all his fault, ALWAYS, and owwwww!  SEE! I got FATALLY WOUNDED DOING THE NEW THING 7. John will laugh at me and call me a dork 8.  While burning with anger I will suddenly figure out new thing which will make me even more angry 9. John, who is the best person in the world, will be overwhelmingly excited and happy for me 10.  I will immediately forget that I am a big huge baby as well as a jerk and take full credit for trying new thing, which will then be my new FAVORITE THING EVER.

I’m not kidding.  Imagine every single thing I’ve ever done, plug it in the above scenario, and there you have it!  Instant dramatic Treena incident!  Fortunately my husband is a patient, patient man. 

Right now, in regards to not knowing where we are moving in FOUR MONTHS, I am on number 2.  With maybe a little number 5 thrown in.  WHAT!? It’s MY scenario, I can change it if I want.

Until we get our assignment…Auf Wiedersehen, Ciao, and Cheerio!