ammogirl

I had a pretty random day today.  Remember my suite mate?  The one who smoked in her room?  Well, we share a bathroom, right, but not much else…she does her thing and I do mine, and when I see her we exchange pleasantries, but we’re not friends or anything.  Well, yesterday, as I was completely reveling in my utter laziness, I heard a knock on the bathroom door.  Obviously it was her, and I opened the door thinking she was going to ask me to clean the bathroom or something, but instead, she asked me to watch a movie.  "What?"  I said, because, ummmm, huh?  Nine months into our respective tours here, and she wants to hang out NOW?  "Yeah, a movie, I was wondering if you wanted to watch one, I got Saw and Saw II, and don’t want to watch them by myself."  Ahhhhh…I see the light now…she just wants to use me.  But, well…the fact of the matter is I haven’t seen either of those movies.  And I wanted to, and right now I’m all about anything to make the days go by quickly, and THAT, my friends, is how I found myself standing in her room this afternoon as she showed me the big bruise on her ass caused by repeated pokes from a needle. 

Ha!  Got you’re attention, didn’t I?  Well, believe me, I was feeling a bit dazed myself.  Look, all I did was agree to watch a damn movie, trust me.  In fact, the only reason I was IN her room this afternoon is because I wanted to let her know I was going to the gym, and that I thought after that would be a fabulous time for movies, but I guess my face has "TELL ME YOUR SECRETS!" written all over it, because when I knocked on her door, she YANKED it open like she was waiting for me, and thrust something in my hand, and when I looked down, the first thing I thought was "that says positive" and "ew, she PEED on this".  Fortunately, while I don’t actually have the gene for compassion, I have seen enough movies to know what it looks like and when it is called for, and this?  Yeah, one of those times.  Mentally pushing away the thought that I was holding a urine-soaked stick in my hand, I did the only thing I could think of:  I hugged her, because y’all, she was so excited.  Indeed, as soon as I put my arms around her, she started SOBBING, and in between her sobs she was saying "I had no one to tell!  Thank you so much!  A hug is exactly what I needed, I’m so happy!"  as she was dripping tears all over my shoulder and right at that very second some dust got in my eye and made MY eyes water which was GOOD because in movies people ALWAYS cry in happy moments so I think I played that whole moment well.  Thank GOD for dust.  Ahem. 

Anyway, I knew that she had, in the past, frozen some embryos for possible in-vitro, and apparently when she was just home on mid-tour noticed the ol’ biological clock was ticking.  In fact, it was ticking so loud it killed all her other senses except for ’sight’, and it turns out what she saw was the fact she is turning 37 next week.  So I asked her to tell me all about it, and AGAIN, it wasn’t COMPASSION, because I am not compassionate, I am HARD and FLINTY with a HEART OF STONE.  This led to pictures of her eggs and an extensive show and tell of the many drugs she has to inject and patches she has to patch and oh my god the NEEDLES ARE SO BIG and now you know why I found myself gazing at her bruised and poked butt cheek.  It was really quite a chore to deal with..OKAY FINE I was happy for her. 

I know I’m the last person in the world to have seen Saw and Saw II, but I just want to say, while disgusting and not scary at all, they were very well written thrillers, for reals.   Usually I’m pretty good at reading clues in movies, but during both of these, I had no clue what was happening until the movie wanted me to know; to me, that equals good entertainment.  For a Sunday, anyway.

Town patrol was pretty lame.  There were 22 of us, and maybe 80 people drinking in A-town last night.  SO BORING.  Also, when drunk people think they are whispering, they are actually YELLING LIKE THIS.  And they are SO WITTY!  And DANCE SO WELL!  I’m glad I don’t get like that when I’M drinking.  What?

Auf Wiedersehen!!