ammogirl

Today we will be talking about television shows.  In particular, Prison Break.  First of all, Wentworth Miller cannot possibly be any hotter than he already is.  And…well, that’s all I wanted to say, actually. 

Miss Devylish posted a very well-written entry about the Katrina anniversary, and I encourage you to go read it immediately.  I would have written something very similar, had I not already written about (sort of) peeing my pants.  I have priorities and values, you guys.  Don’t make me compromise them. 

One of my troops is heading up a dunk tank fundraiser for our unit.  Because she feels that calling it simply "dunk tank fundraiser" would be painfully boring, she asked each of us in the shop to provide a catchy slogan.  My suggestion was ‘Grab Your Balls and Get Someone Wet’.  I believe that is what she is going with…and yes, I will take full credit.

And finally, we have not yet had any offers on the house, and this is forcing me to endure endless anxiety filled moments.  Apparently everyone in the entire neighborhood is also selling their house, and while we are STILL the lowest in our area, there is just so much to choose from.  Stupid buyers market.  You guys, let me just say that not selling our house before we move to Germany would absolutely suck.  In fact, I’m not even sure what we would do at that point.  Of course, every time an agent brings prospective buyers over and they don’t make an offer I take it personally, because it’s my HOUSE and I love it, and I want to scream at Mr. and Mrs. No McOfferton that the only reason we are selling is because we are moving to a different country and if you don’t want my house then FINE it’s YOUR LOSS and the house didn’t like you ANYWAY. It’s  frustrating and a wee bit scary and definitely very nerve wracking, and if it takes too much longer I’m quite positive I will be offering to pay someone to take it off our hands just so I can sleep at night and stop sending John emails that go like this:
     Hi how was your day today, I really miss youHAVEWESOLDTHEHOUSEYET?????
He likes those emails, by the way.  I just get tired of sending them. 

37 days.

Auf Wiedersehen!!!

I don’t care what you boys say in my comments: regardless of whether you SHOULD or not, you have the ABILITY to pee anywhere, and it’s just a matter of whipping it out and pointing.  I think that would be fabulous.  But just for a day…anddd…probably only for one time, and that would be enough.  Like, I’d just walk around peeing on objects until my bladder was empty, and then I’d be satisified.  Anyhoo, I just happen to have a story on this topic!  Aren’t you delighted?

Many, many years ago I was at a restaurant celebrating an occasion with my parents and sister when I realized I had to use the facilities.  However, conversation was lively and I was reluctant to leave, so I waited until the very last possible moment, and then rushed as fast as I could through servers and busboys and customers and pushed my way into the (thankfully empty) restroom.  Things went very well, as they tend to do when you’ve had so much practice at them, me being a grown woman and all, until I realized that in my haste I…well, while I managed to get my skirt out of harms way, in my desperate quickness I forgot my panties.  As in, I still had them on.  All the way.  If you need me to be more clear: I peed my pants, while sitting on a toilet, and I was IN A RESTAURANT.  And yes, I WAS drinking - Lobsteritas, if you must know (which really are NOT very good by the way, likewise Red Lobster, but it was UTAH and there wasn’t many other places to go if you wanted a drink, so) BUT, I remember, VERY WELL, that I only had one the entire evening, and at this point, that one was only 1/2 gone.  So, I cannot blame it on the alcohol - although I probably should.  No - I blame it on the SHEER BOTHER of having to remove layers upon layers upon layers of clothing.  I also lay the blame on having to SIT DOWN while I was excited and hyper.  And, having to deal with the hassle of the toilet seat cover - ugh, precious SECONDS are wasted getting that thing just right!  So.  Boys are luckier (in regards to PEEING ONLY) and that’s all there is to it.

In case you are wondering, I went the rest of the evening commando.  (In Utah - hee hee!)

Auf Wiedersehen!!!

…when I find myself bored and uninspired, but really wanting to post.  This is what the meme is for.
(from Kari.)

1.  If you could fly for a day, where would you go?
I have always thought it would be amazing to start on the east coast right as dusk is falling on the 4th of July, and fly straight over to the west coast.  If I timed it right, I could see hundreds of fireworks displays - and while I’m not really THAT into fireworks, I think that would be pretty swell.

2.  If you could turn invisible for a day, what would you do with the power?
I would give this power back.  Being invisible would be a nightmare for me.

3.  If you could teleport for a day, what adventures would you have?
Hmmm…I’d head to the top of Mt. Everest to watch the sunrise, then to Paris for breakfast croissants and mimosas.  Hawaii would be next for a bit of swimming, and when I got too hot, I’d pop over to the South Pole and visit the penguins.  I’d have lobster in Maine for lunch, then a stroll around the Pyramids in Egypt.  In the evening, I’d head to the Caribbean for dinner, steel drums, and the sunset.  And then I’d head home to my big ol’ comfy bed. (with my husband)(for fabulous…conversation)(what?)

4.  If you could change your appearance like a chameleon for a day, how would you use the ability?
I think I would like to be a boy.  Then I would finally know the freedom of peeing wherever I wanted to, standing up.

5.  If you could have any super power for the rest of your life, what would it be and why?  Would you ever use your power for selfish reasons?  Would you ever hurt anyone (either physically or emotionally) with it?
Hmm..question #5 seems to be a bit…question-ier than the rest, doesn’t it?  Anyhow:  Does anyone remember Isis?  She was super fast and super strong, and she could read minds, I think.  I’d want to have the speed and strength she had, as well as her cute outfit.  Why?  I dunno…honestly.  I am quite positive I’d use them for selfish reasons (both would come in handy during my annual fitness test) but I’d never use them to hurt anyone.  Unless they deserved it.  You know, like if they made fun of my cool Egyptian headband.

And there you have it!  Miss D, I am expecting you to do this one, along with Pom, LadyMiss, flygirl and Kay. 

Auf Wiedersehen!!!