Aug 29
I’ll understand if you don’t come back
I don’t care what you boys say in my comments: regardless of whether you SHOULD or not, you have the ABILITY to pee anywhere, and it’s just a matter of whipping it out and pointing. I think that would be fabulous. But just for a day…anddd…probably only for one time, and that would be enough. Like, I’d just walk around peeing on objects until my bladder was empty, and then I’d be satisified. Anyhoo, I just happen to have a story on this topic! Aren’t you delighted?
Many, many years ago I was at a restaurant celebrating an occasion with my parents and sister when I realized I had to use the facilities. However, conversation was lively and I was reluctant to leave, so I waited until the very last possible moment, and then rushed as fast as I could through servers and busboys and customers and pushed my way into the (thankfully empty) restroom. Things went very well, as they tend to do when you’ve had so much practice at them, me being a grown woman and all, until I realized that in my haste I…well, while I managed to get my skirt out of harms way, in my desperate quickness I forgot my panties. As in, I still had them on. All the way. If you need me to be more clear: I peed my pants, while sitting on a toilet, and I was IN A RESTAURANT. And yes, I WAS drinking - Lobsteritas, if you must know (which really are NOT very good by the way, likewise Red Lobster, but it was UTAH and there wasn’t many other places to go if you wanted a drink, so) BUT, I remember, VERY WELL, that I only had one the entire evening, and at this point, that one was only 1/2 gone. So, I cannot blame it on the alcohol - although I probably should. No - I blame it on the SHEER BOTHER of having to remove layers upon layers upon layers of clothing. I also lay the blame on having to SIT DOWN while I was excited and hyper. And, having to deal with the hassle of the toilet seat cover - ugh, precious SECONDS are wasted getting that thing just right! So. Boys are luckier (in regards to PEEING ONLY) and that’s all there is to it.
In case you are wondering, I went the rest of the evening commando. (In Utah - hee hee!)
Auf Wiedersehen!!!
August 29th, 2006 at 5:05 pm
Isn’t it against the law to go commando in Utah? Better not ever show your face there again.
As for the rest, you’re entirely correct about guys being luckier. I hate having to spend precious moments getting the damn seat cover in place! Most of the time I just hover.
August 29th, 2006 at 5:59 pm
Hearing about a woman going commando is normally exciting, but the whole peeing your pants thing kind of takesthe magic of it.
I’m going to go pee on something, just for you.
August 29th, 2006 at 10:55 pm
Kari - I was going to touch on the “hover”, but it’s so involved. The positioning, the balancing…
Greg - Dammit. I’ll NEVER make it on “hot girl Friday” (or whatever it is you guys used to do) now!
August 30th, 2006 at 1:51 am
You are hilarious
September 3rd, 2006 at 3:00 am
I went bungee jumping off a bridge at six am once. I was with thirty people, all surreptitiously lining up to jump. I ha to coffee poo. You know the one. Drink a big cup of coffee, feel a stirring, then run like heck to the bathroom.
I hadn’t jumped yet. I was still in the line. I went around to the sidde of the smallish bridge and hopped underneath it. The bridge was way tall but way narrow. I dropped my pants and figured I was out of everyone’s view.
I forgot about the person jumping. They were now bouncing around and pointing and laughing at my backside and its expelling contents. Everybody waiting in line were asked to have a look over the edge…
There is a moral here.
I don’t know what it is…
September 4th, 2006 at 12:17 am
Scott - that story is….worse than mine. I probably would have jumped off the cliff WITHOUT the bungee
September 6th, 2006 at 12:11 am
I’ve gotten in the shower that way.. it’s the weirdest feeling once you realize it and you’re like.. what the..???
September 6th, 2006 at 11:54 am
Angel - Isn’t that just an economic way to do the laundry?