ammogirl

I feel guilty: there was a Christmas party fund raiser shopping trip to the Czech Republic this past Saturday, and I paid for Lindsey and I to go, but at the last minute, we dropped out.  But!  I paid in advance, and didn’t ask for a refund, so they still get the money.  That makes it okay, right?  Because really.  Look at the schedule:

- Leave 1:30 AM Saturday, on a bus.  With 35 people you either don’t know, or know just enough to say hello, because you recognize them, but won’t start a conversation with because hi!  I’m socially inept!
- Drive four hours to a rest stop.  Eat breakfast, if you brought something to eat for breakfast.  If not, stare longingly at other people’s food.  If they notice you staring, pretend there is something really interesting out the window behind them.
- Drive two more hours to Karlovy Vary.  Arrive at 8 AM. This is early, by the way.
- Shop for four hours.  After sleeping all night on a bus, which you are sharing with your 12 year old daughter, who considers you a very fine pillow. 
- Eat at McDonalds, if you want lunch, and if you actually eat McDonalds.  Which I don’t, and, for the record, haven’t, for…at least five years.  McDonalds=gross.
- At noon, hop on the bus, for a 1.5 hour drive to the Dragon Market at Cheb.
- Shop until 5 PM.  If you are keeping track, that’s eight hours of shopping.  After the whole bus thing, and after the food (or lack of) issues.  With your almost teenage daughter.  Who didn’t really want to go in the first place.
- Drive 1.5 hours to a random restaurant.  Eat until 7:45 PM.  Awkward conversation most likely required.
- Get back on the bus.  Driiiiiiivvvvvveeeeee some more. 
- Arrive home at midnight-ish.

Now.  You totally see my point, don’t you?  Seriously.  That’s just too much for me.

I didn’t call and cancel until 12:15 am-ish, annnnnd…here’s where my guilt comes in…I told them I couldn’t go because Lindsey was sick, even though she was sitting right next to me at the time and by all accounts, feeling quite fabulous.  What!  It was a good excuse!  Yes, I am a LYING LIAR!  YES, I am a bad person who used my own daughter for ILL GAIN!  Woe!  Guilt!  Moments of Stress!

Or not, really.  You would have done it too.

So.  Christmas is in less than a month.  What the hell happened to the time?  I had a moment of panic today (as I always do at this time of year) when I thought "Holy crap MOM’S BIRTHDAY" and scrambled for a calendar.  However, I am still in my window, which is good.  I mean, not to say that I don’t have it marked off on my calendar with sparkly glitter and neon colors and loud jangling music, because I totally do, MOM.  I just like to wait until the last possible moment to send it, because I think it adds more excitement (will it get there in time?  HOPE FOR THE BEST!!) to the game.  Also, it makes my sister (the kiss ass one) look better.  You know how it is with sisters.  She’s the middle one (like…Jan) and therefore, is always never the best.  So she has to try especially hard on special occasions, and sends HER cards totally early in order to be "first".  Anyway, so I’m doing her a favor.  But, Toni?  Jan was NEVER THE FAVORITE.

I am the baby of the family, by the way.  That entitles me to do things wrong and get away with it.  Like…sending out birthday cards late.  Not that I have!  But!  Just in case!   Hi mom! 

Tschuss!!