Dec 13
ughhhhh
I’m sorry, but my brain is temporarily under construction. Nothing is wrong or anything - no hiding the pill bottles to prevent the dreamy dreamy die (tm Angel, via Ironika), no longing glances at the straight razor…just a vague sense of not-rightedness. Two steps forward, one step back. In wet concrete. And I totally didn’t get to put my initials in it.
Anyway, when I in fifth grade, I somehow convinced my mom to sign me up for ballet lessons. Now…take a moment, please, to recall the tutu-d hippo from Fantasia…you got that? That was so me. I am the least graceful person in the solar system already, but then to put chubby me in pink tights and a burgundy leotard on TOP of all that ungracefulness? Sighhh…I stuck it out though. I practiced my pirouettes and my grand jetes and my first-thru-fifth positions tirelessly. I stretched while brushing my teeth, because the teacher said stretching every night would guarantee splits by the end of the year. I spent hours upon hours pointing my toes, willing my arches to be more…archified. I bought hair nets for my frizzy hair, because it refused to bun without them. I coveted that poster that featured a pair of pointe shoes and nothing else.
We practiced every Tuesday and Thursday at the B’nai Brith camp on East Devil’s Lake Road, and sometimes at the Catholic Church on Highway 101, which I secretly loved the best because it was right next to my parent’s candy store and after a taxing session I could chasse my butt on over for some candy. A little later in the year, we did a recital for our parents, with tutus and leg warmers, to the disco version of Beethoven’s 5th. I still remember exactly what I had to do: fling my arm out with abandon on the opening strains, and a bit later, pirouette from one corner of the room to the other.
I finally conquered the splits. A girl in my class secured an audition to the Royal Ballet in London.
At the end of the year, there was a ballet camp at the teacher’s house. While there, I started my period. The teacher called my mom up and said, "Your baby is now a woman" and my mom came and got me and took me home, and I never took ballet again.
The moral of this story is…well, I don’t have one, really. I guess I could say that periods are the beginning of the end of all girlhood dreams, but THAT is a bit dramatic, isn’t it?
I think I’m done now. It’s time to do some moping. Perhaps I will practice my grand jetes and lament what could have been.
Tschuss!
December 13th, 2006 at 8:46 pm
I made it to the tumbling part in ballet.. we tumbled when we were small. Then we moved and I never took it again until I was in college and it was the hardest and greatest thing ever. I loved it, especially cuz I’m pigeon-toed and do not have the ease of a good turn out, but it was so good for my body. You should start it up again sugar.. I’m thinking I’m going to one day.. soon soon!
All things can be begun again.
December 14th, 2006 at 12:06 am
Ok, the ungraceful part maybe understandable but now, you are as tiny as the ballet girls in the Russian- Mikhail Baryshnikov ballet company. And I know you’re still flexable from all that damn running. So cheer up Moapy! Life is good, take a look at your beautiful landscape and thank God you’re not at Edwards!
December 14th, 2006 at 1:57 am
My splits all have a banana in the middle of it…
December 14th, 2006 at 6:30 am
Angel - HA HA HA HA! Ha! Ha ha!! Ooohhhhh girl…I know you meant well, but seriously…while I’m sure I would rock the tutu nowadays, the gracefulness has continued to elude me. I wish I could tumble, though…do you know…I can’t even do a cartwheel! I know! Hidden secrets! How was I ever a cheerleader???
Jen - Not NOW, silly, THEN. I was definitely chubby THEN. But I AM glad I’m not at Edwards.
Scott - Okay, so…I JUST got that. And that was funny…gold star for you.
December 14th, 2006 at 5:18 pm
I have to know who got the audition…please, please tell me. I have to know.
Sorry the ballet thing didn’t work out, but I imagine you’re a much better bomb dump boss now because you didn’t do so well in a tutu.
December 14th, 2006 at 5:28 pm
Kari - It was Amanda Morgan. She was a Neskowin girl. She had a twin…I don’t think she did ballet though. I never saw them after that.
December 15th, 2006 at 7:27 am
mmmm, reliving the girl ballet dream. i was convinced i was going to be a ballerina too. loved it. then my parents got a divorce and we moved into a singlewide trailer, and… no more ballet. but i’ve got great trailer stories. : ) happy thoughts your way… sounds like you might need them….
the beav