Dec 14
I’ll just cut it off.
So, since it’s been at least 30 days since there has been something wrong with my physical being, I thought I’d visit the doctor to see if they could find something wrong. Okay, not really. I actually went because my back has been hurting pretty badly for awhile, and I figured I should get it looked at, or at the very least, get it put in my medical records for posterity purposes. But after answering a few questions, and having my right leg yanked around, the doctor determined my pain is actually originating from my right hip. I don’t know what’s wrong with it, exactly, but I DID get x-rays, and some Mobic for ingesting pleasure.
A tip: When getting x-rays of your hip, do NOT wear Victoria’s Secret panties with rhinestones on the butt spelling out the word "Pink". This will cause the technician to run after you and ask you loudly, in a crowded waiting room, "Excuse me Ma’am! Do you happen to have something on your underwear?"
I had to redo my x-rays, sans panties.
I did see the originals, however, and sure enough, flashily strewn through my pelvic region were 20 or so rhinestones. It looked like I had perhaps, erm…inserted them into my pelvic cavity, and reminded me of a time I was watching Lovelines and a girl called in and discussed the fact that she had, in the past, had to have a paper clip surgically removed from her urethra. Which: ouch. Also: why? Anyhow, I was relieved to have an excuse for my floating rhinestones, and even pointed out the fact you could make out the letters. "See? Right there by my Iliac crest!"
I also got grounded. Yes. No working out. You GUYS. You have to know how bad this distresses me. YOU KNOW ME! I am obsessed when it comes to working out! But, plain as day, right there on my doctor issued profile: no running, no cycling, no push ups, no crunches. I guess I could try the elliptical, but there is NEVER one open at the gym, unless it’s 4:45 in the morning, and while getting up and walking 5 minutes to the gym at that time was fine in Korea, getting up and DRIVING at that time for 15 minutes is not. It requires more effort. I’ll just…start walking every day I guess. Not to the gym, around the track. Maybe I’ll take up smoking. That raises your heart rate, doesn’t it? I’M JUST KIDDING.
OF COURSE, on the very day I get put on a No Exercise EVER or End Up With a Walker AND a Cane profile, what do I get in the mail? Yes, a massive shipment of candy from my parent’s candy store. Thanks, mom and dad…heyyyy…my DAD has hip problems! GREAT. Thanks for the faulty hip, DAD.
Tschuss!!
December 14th, 2006 at 5:14 pm
Sorry to hear about your hip, T. Hope it works out soon. I do love hearing about the rhinestones on the x-ray, though. Next time make sure they spell out your name instead so they don’t mix up your films with anyone else’s.
I really needed this laugh today! Thanks!
December 14th, 2006 at 6:50 pm
your welcome, but don’t worry I’ll buy you a rhinestone covered cane for your next birthday. its HELL to get old..
December 14th, 2006 at 9:42 pm
Well, I say between smirking and giggling, at least the rhinestone underwear only said PINK. Can you imagine then the flashing SEXY HOT MAMA near your pelvis?
Paperclip?! I’ll stop there!
xx
December 14th, 2006 at 10:26 pm
I am sorry to laugh at your misfortune but seriously, wouldn’t you laugh at me?! ROFLMAO
Insert Britney Spears joke here.
So you just had to jump on the sans panty bangwagon eh?
Heh.
I love it. I bet they were relieved to know you “had something on your panties” and OMG was anybody listening when they said that?
I hope your hip is nothing serious and you get back to your excercising sooN!
December 15th, 2006 at 5:35 am
Kario - Well, I’m glad I could do THAT for you, at least! As for my hip…we’re getting old, aren’t we?
Dad - Thanks for the sympathy! Jeez, I guess we know where my COMPASSION COMES FROM. Anyway, we totally need to talk about this! Steal the phone when I call mom for her birthday. Love you!
lmm - I know, right? The whole paperclip thing…seriously, I heard that like 5 years ago and I can still remember the whole thing. It was pretty funny.
Kay - Yeah, I would
The whole waiting room heard her say that…it was a great moment.
December 15th, 2006 at 6:22 am
I’ve been behind on reading blogs lately. I finally sit down to enjoy a good read, click on Ammo and what’s waiting for me? The soon-to-be-infamous Rhinestone panty blog. That’s absolutely awesome. Awesome that you wore them, awesome that they show up, and awesome that you got to view them. That’s an x-ray copy you should keep for posterity!
December 16th, 2006 at 6:45 am
Yes yes, Get the copy and post it on your blog!
So the really perverted ones can make comments about the pink on the inside…. yaddy yaddy yaddy…
Did they put you on anti-inflames?
What was the deal?
Hope it isn’t too serious, seriously…
December 18th, 2006 at 9:35 pm
Pix - I’m a Rhinestone Pan-ty…da da… Come on, couldn’t you totally hear that song going through your head? Anyway, I don’t get a copy. It’s the Property of the Military. Yeah, so…you know, I don’t really have a right to it or anything.
Scott - I have no perverted readers! My PARENTS read me! And..my in-laws! And…my NIECE!! I am on anti-in-flames, (hee), one called Mobic. And I don’t know what’s wrong. Just that I went in for back pain and came out with, apparently, a bad hip. And x-rayted. Haha! get it?
Sighh…I’m really horrible tonight. Time to go.
December 23rd, 2006 at 9:51 am
Well.. they could just give you a cortizone shot in the hip w/ a foot long needle like they did me.. ok so maybe it wasn’t a foot. I don’t know cuz I couldn’t watch him.. but when I thought it should be done.. he was still pushing the needle.. and I said ‘ow’ like a zillion times and then super loudly and scared him. Ok, he wasn’t scared but I did think about hurting him after.. ‘cept my leg went all jelly on me if I put weight on it so lucky him. I just had to give him mean looks. Yes, getting old sucks. We’re all breaking. Blech. Hate it. Can I put rhinestones on my walker?