ammogirl

Hmm.  Looking through my archives, I use "alright" as a title a lot.  I think maybe I’ll just make that the permanent title.  Or not…but when I can’t think of something fabulously witty, it’ll be my default.  It can stand for either "alright, here’s a damn post" or "alright, I can’t think of a title, so."

Wow.  Anyway.  What I meant to start out with was not a paragraph about my title block, but a paragraph about my superfabulous weekend.  However, I am a bit scatter-brained today, so please keep that in mind.

So.  There we were, Friday morning, on our way to the Frankfurt-Hahn airport in the last stages of the pretend hurricane.  We sort of had an idea our flight WOULD go, but not for sure, because the airport site said all Ryan Air flights were canceled, while the Ryan Air site said nothing.  However, every road on the way there was blocked.  Yup.  Blocked.  At first, that didn’t stop us, because apparently the signs are only visible to certain people, so we pretended WE didn’t see them either, and followed everyone else around them.  This…you guys.  This was scary.  The wind was still blowing, okay?  And the road goes through a forest.  And the trees in this forest were swaying alarmingly close to the road, which we were on.  Looking INTO the forest gave you a view like this: tree - broken jagged stump - tree - tree - 5000 broken jagged stumps - tree.  This caused me an immeasurable amount of panic, AS YOU CAN IMAGINE.  FYI - placing a sheet of paper over your head will NOT protect you from falling trees, but WILL cause your family to laugh like hyenas at you.  FYI, FAMILY - hyenas are nasty and I DON’T LIKE THEM.  Anyway, wind, trees, paper…where was I?  Oh.  Panicking.  Now, here’s a good time to point out that we have never been to this airport before, and were relying totally on our navigation system to get us there (but following along on a map, because I love maps.  What?), and according to IT, we were fifteen minutes from the airport when what happens?  We come around a corner and almost CRASH into the ginormous tree laying across the road.  "JOHN!" I screamed, as I like to do while he is driving, and John utilized his NASCAR driving skills and simultaneously stopped and turned, thusly saving our lives from death by tree, and for that I love him and MIGHT possibly forgive him for laughing at me.

Whew.  This is…long.  And I haven’t even made it to the airport yet.  You guys, you’re getting this story in parts.

Anyway, so we turned around, and now who is the smartiepants for following the map, huh?  That’s right, me.  Except…all the roads were blocked.  And there is like, NO road signs.  So.  Back on went the navigation system, which will calculate a new route for you, should you encounter things like missed turns, or road work, or Deadly Tree Blocks.  And it DID recalculate, but reallllllly wanted us to go the way we were, because hello? WE WERE TEN MILES AWAY.  The navigation system (who will now be called Jo, because it’s quicker to type) kept telling us to u-turn, u-turn uturnutusfasdf and holy CRAP it was getting annoying.  Eventually Jo shut up and gave us the new route but I’m sure that she was thinking that we were stupid fuckers, and every road we came to she’d try and get us to turn on it, to lead us back the original way.  Finally, after basically completing a circle (a BIG circle) we managed to stumble across the airport…with maybe 20 minutes to spare before check-in stopped.  We parked in the first parking we found (which was close - remember this, for future chapters) and made our way through the wind and rain into the terminal.  It’s a really small airport so it was easy to find our way around, which was good, and then we checked in, and waited in the waiting room, and got on the plane.  None of that was fun, exciting, OR fabulous, so I won’t bore you with descriptions.  Oh, there WAS a poor girl who fell asleep while waiting for her flight to Krakow, and was woken up by her friends, who called her on her cell from the TAXIING PLANE.  Which, okay.  If you and I are traveling together at any point in time EVER, and we are waiting for a plane, and I fall asleep…wake me up.  I mean, seriously…she must be a total drag to travel with.  "She’s asleep, should we wake her up so she can board?" "…nah." 

The trip over was completely uneventful as well, surprisingly enough, considering the wind.  We landed at Stansted Airport in London without incident, and this, you guys, is where you wait patiently for the next post.  I know.  The anticipation is killing you.

Tschuss!