Feb 12
this is all hypothetical, of course.
Don’t you hate it when you are grocery shopping and you keep running into the same person in every aisle? Like, either it’s someone you know, and you say "Hiiii!" in the front of the store, because you really like them a lot, but you know, you’re there for groceries, not small talk, so you move along, right? But then that person is going exactly the opposite direction that you are, so that every single aisle you have to say "ha ha - there you are again!" or "heyyy…are you stalking me? ha ha" or "wow…you must really like prunes. ha ha" until finally you find yourself averting your eyes and pretending to be studying the sliced beets on the shelf until they go by because you just are Over It, Right Now.
Or, it’s someone you DON’T know, but you manage to be shopping in tandem, and at one point are standing there mulling over whether the Rosarita refried beans would be better than the El Paso, and if so, should you get the green chile and lime or the vegetarian, when your shopping siamese twin reaches across you to grab the El Paso non-fats, and then you are all "oh gosh, I’m so sorry!" and again with the small talk "mmm, El Paso non-fats are the BEST!" and then you are totally screwed, because you can’t just grab the same exact item, because then it looks like you are a little stalkerish (I don’t know what to get…which one, which one…I’m panicking…ohhhh! I’ll get those SAME EXACT ONES TOO!) so you just forget the refried beans altogether.
Or, how about when you get two gabby gabsters who obviously don’t feel the same way about small talk as you do and stop in the middle of the aisle, catty-cornering their carts, so you find yourself saying "excuse me. Excuse Me. EXCUSE ME" and them going "ohhh. SORRR-REEEY." and moving their cart 1/2 inch in the wrong direction and NOW you’re just irritated because you tried really hard to be polite and you just push your way through which earns you Whispered Words of Doom accompanied by the Glare of Death, which, hi, this is not a coffee shop. So.
Um…what did YOU do today? Me? Oh, you know…nothing.
Tschuss!!
February 12th, 2007 at 7:55 pm
And I thought I was the only person who pretended to be that interested in Beets! This is why I think I hate grocery shopping … the fear of seeing someone who wants small talk, while I’m there to complete my mission, get in, get good, get out.
I’m glad to see that if we were to ever meet in a grocery store we wouldn’t have to stare the beets! haha…
February 12th, 2007 at 8:17 pm
I love it - it sums up practically every trip to the supermarket I make!
February 13th, 2007 at 6:26 am
Jim - That’s right. We could just give an imperceptible head nod at the very first meeting, and then a mutual ignore, and all would be good.
Chris - Yeah, and doesn’t that suck? What’s with everyone else in the world?
February 13th, 2007 at 6:39 am
I’m a late night shopper - no grocery shopping is allowed before 10pm!! Oh, and I’d totally go green chile & lime.
February 13th, 2007 at 5:14 pm
Love my online shopping with Safeway.com! It’s also helpful to have a couple of irritated, bickering children with you. That quashes idle conversation quickly, let me tell you!
February 13th, 2007 at 8:03 pm
they have rosarita AND el paso in germany ?
maybe you should go there in disguise ? i usually go when i look awful. a hat and overalls (yes, they’re from the actuall 90’s) go a long way to insure not being detected by anyone.
or this one will make you laugh… make your husband go. AHHHh HA HA HAHA.
February 13th, 2007 at 8:50 pm
What you need to do is have your hair all messed up, make up smeared and clothes disheveled. Walk through the store making guttural noises or talking to yourself, wait…ARGUING with yourself. They’ll think you are nuts and leave you alone;)
February 14th, 2007 at 1:35 am
That first scenario is called aisle weaving. Yes, there IS a name for it.
Aisle weavers who enjoy the game should be drug out and shot.
If you are caught up in a weave you don’t want, simply go over to the bread section and squeeze loaves for five minutes and that stops the weave.
Yeesh. I thought you’d have that stuff down!
February 14th, 2007 at 1:46 am
PS…..does it bother you that I have your blog misspelled as Ammo Gril on my blogroll and have been too lazy to change it (yet somehow I have the time to come here and comment, lol).
Ammo Grills RULE! Cook your steak by blasting it with munitions….
February 14th, 2007 at 3:17 am
You make a funny. You very ha ha.. I like.
February 14th, 2007 at 4:31 pm
Greg - 10 PM? Way past my bedtime, yo. But thanks for the bean suggestion. I’ll remember that for next time.
Kari - I am so very jealous of you. Actually, I hate you for your online grocery shopping availability. But only for that…you’re pretty swell otherwise
Irony - ha ha hahah ! ha ha ah!!! haaaaa…yeah. like THAT would ever happen.
Chris - I already do that. It doesn’t work. And, I did notice the ammogril, but since I’m so lazy I haven’t linked you AT ALL, I figured I’d let it slide. Besides, ammogrils DO rule!
Scott - Oh mighty one, I have much to learn in the ways of the grocery store. Teach me your ways.
Angel -