ammogirl

Alright!  So, I spent more time looking at vaginas than I ever thought possible this week.  I don’t even want to write about it, I’m so over it.  But, because I feel compelled to get it off my MIND, I just have to say…there is a lot of nas-tay shit out there.  And now I’m done.

I had today off, and it was absolutely glorious.  The weather here right now is perfect, and there are trails in the forest, and I have been on them nearly every day this week, and that is just fine.  Plus, I did a little spring cleaning, so I feel very accomplished, what with my clean house and my running on my day off and all that.   Tomorrow we for realllly real are going to Belgium to look at the super fancy furniture store.  What does it say about me that my number one goal is finding a bar and/or wine rack for my dining room area?  But you guys, I am going to Italy next week, and I am bringing back multiple bottles of from what I’ve been told is super fabulous wine, and I need a place for it!  Super fabulous wine can not be placed any old where! It needs to be spoiled.  I mean, of course I’m not speaking figuratively…the wine ITSELF can’t be spoiled, because that would be bad.
I went grocery shopping today for the first time in for-freaking-ever today, and…wow, can I have been any more domestic today than I was?  Cleaning, grocery shopping, cooking dinner…I’m a regular housewife!  Except I’m not.  I think that one has to do these things on a regular basis to be so considered. And…I don’t.  So.

Did I mention I’m going to Italy next week?  Great!

Tschuss!

I had so many “customers” yesterday at the pee testing. And oh my god, WHY do they want to have conversations with me about their underwear? I don’t care what you are wearing! I don’t care what you AREN’T wearing! I don’t want to see it! I don’t want to know why you are wearing, ahem, feminine hygiene products, and I really, REALLY don’t want to see them! No. I’m not kidding. People are weird, you guys.

I’ve been going through this phase at work where I just don’t want to do anything. I’m too excited about going to Italy, I’m too excited about it being sunny outside, and I’m too excited about having people work there now that I can actually have a real conversation with. I don’t know why I’m so unmotivated in this job. I can’t even say I need a break, because I’ve only been here six months and have already had one short vacation and two TDYs. (um…temporary duty, i.e. my January trip to England for the inspection. I need to do like, one big post full of military acronyms for you. But I won’t, because that would be really boring.) I just think I’m uninspired by what I do. It doesn’t help that basically our office is going away in October, and 90% of our tasks are being absorbed by one central office in the States. I’m not going anywhere, though…nope, I’ll be here, with one other guy, doing the remaining 10%. And…being bored.

Anyway, what I really wanted to post about was two things: first, our first cross-country meet went well. There were nearly 200 people entered! It was crazy! The course we ran is very close to my house, it’s actually in the same forest we normally do our bike riding in, so it was familiar, so that was good. But I placed myself too far in the back of the pack at the starting line, and spent the first two minutes walking before we made it to a more open space. After that it was not too bad; it helps me to run against people because I can pace myself. At the very end, however, oh my god. There is this hill in this forest, and it is steep, and we had to run up it. At the end of the run. And, it was steep. I actually…walked. I KNOW! I suck so bad! But that hill, godDAMN! To my credit, I made it halfway up before I turned into a big fat baby, and the instant I hit the top of it I started running again. In the end, I was fairly happy with my time, and I wasn’t too far behind the faster people on my team, so.

Secondly! Hee hee, this is so stupid. Okay, just to warn you, the full extent of my inner nerd will be very apparent to you with this. I posted my first assignment in my English class, and my teacher had this to say about me:
“This is an “A” posting. Others, let’s make like eggs and get cracking. Ammogirl has given us a standard that all of us may now aim to achieve ourselves.”

Yes, I am awesome! I am a teacher’s pet! And, now all the other students hate me! Oh, whatever, you know they do. But hi, I didn’t ASK for him to say that! And I can’t help if I actually read the punctuation notes! Regardless, I am a sucker for praise, and now this teacher is my Favorite Teacher Ever!!! I should start sending him cyber apples. JUST KIDDING.

Okay, off to a hard day of watching people urinate.

Tschuss!!

I just got done with my first writing assignment for my other, not-algebra class, and let me tell you: I misuse punctuation all OVER the place! I hope my instructor never finds this site, or he would flunk me on the grounds of “just because”. I am a flagrant violator! It’s sort of hard doing the work for school, because I find myself CAPITALIZING…and then backspacing. Using !!!!!!!!…and then backspacing. And, you guys. I can’t find the rules on my beloved ellipses anywhere in my text book. Does this mean I can’t use them in assignments…ever? Oh my god, I blanch at the thought.

Guess what I am doing this week? I’ll just tell you! Because you won’t ever guess! I have been tagged to be a urinalysis monitor. I am a monitor of the urine. As it comes out of a persons…urinary area. Now, it’s just girls I have to watch (you men out there, calm down. There will be no fantasy fulfilling on my part) but do you realize how…embarrassing this is? To have to watch someone sitting on a toilet, her arm extended into the bowl, holding a cup that she is hoping, hoping, HOPING to pee in? And of course, they can never pee, not right away, so they sit there, and I, as the monitor, inevitably start to panic for them, and I want to turn on water but I can’t, because I have to observe their EVERY SINGLE MOVE so my stupid mouth starts running about anything and everything and we both laugh nervously because hi, this is not a bar and she is not my friend so it is not okay to watch her pee. (Not, I would like to point out, that I make a habit of watching my friends pee when we are drinking, just that…you tend to not care so much, with the group pee. When drunk.) Finally, after long agonizing minutes of this, it’s over. However, then you have to…bleh. You have to hold the bottle to verify the information on the label, and sign it, and it’s warm, and…gross.

Fortunately, I’ve only had to do this twice in my entire career, the monitoring. And, even more fortunately, I only had to observe one person yesterday. I sincerely hope this trend continues throughout the week.

I have my first cross-country meet this evening! I’m nervous!

Tschuss!!