ammogirl

Remember how I was participating in The Biggest Loser at my work? Well, today was final weigh in, and I lost by .03%

Boy, ending a sentence with a percent sign is really a pain in the ass. I couldn’t figure out if I should put a period after that or not. So I gave up and started a new paragraph. Life is good, when you are the queen of your own blog. Anyway, I was a little sad that I didn’t win the $180 pot over .03% but when it came right down to it I was actually more relieved that I could finally eat than bummed about losing. I have been living on Slim Fast, Lean Cuisines/Amy’s Organics, Healthy Choice soup, 100 Calorie packs of Oreo Crisps (the best), and fruit for the past three weeks and I will tell you, it has been torture. Since the girls came home it’s been twenty times worse, what with the having to grocery shop and cook for non-dieting people.

However.

However, we had a work bbq today, and I more than made up for it, all this healthy eating. The bbq, you see, was actually a bbq/birthday party, and we all know that birthday parties have cake, and furthermore, we also all know how much I love cake.

I wasn’t as bad as other BL participants–immediately after weigh-in, it was a free-for-all in the snack bar for everyone but me (I was holding out for the cake) but literally within two minutes of my arrival at the bbq I was two bites into a hamburger, which I chased with a handful or two of Cheetos puffs. And then…I started eyeing that cake.

Yesterday I told you about my ass-kissing behavior, and how I shamelessly use it to get what I want. Well, today, I didn’t want to wait for cake.

I had a corner piece, plus extra frosting. It was so very good, and about the fifth bite in, I actually felt my temperature rising as the sugar kicked in. It was pretty much bliss for a bit, but man sugar is definitely my addiction, and no more than ten minutes after I finished the first piece I was DYING for a second. I couldn’t even think straight. My eyes kept straying to that 9×13 spot on the table, until finally I couldn’t handle it anymore and cut a second piece, a second corner piece, with MORE extra frosting. And then I tried so hard to eat it, but found it just wasn’t possible. You guys, I have turned a corner in my life. I can no longer hang with the hardcore cake eaters. I feel…sad.

And tired, as well. And, I have a headache. Sugar does not mess around. I think…maybe I hate it. Oh. Unless it’s in ice cream.

Have a great Friday!

Tschuss!!

That’s right, I’m ‘guest-posting’ on another blog right now. It sucks, really, because for some reason my new-post screen seems so much friendlier and welcoming and…easier than other new-post screens. Perhaps it’s the thought that new people will be reading.

I was called an ass-kisser today. I was like, “yeah, duh.” I mean, seriously. What of it? I’m not subtle with my ass-kissing – no, totally the opposite, I make it quite obvious. It’s an art. Those people who think they are being sneaky are really self-deluded, and that’s all I have to say.

All I know is, I am dramatically over-the-top with my ass-kissing, and I never fail to make people laugh, and because of this, I tend to generally get things to happen the way I want them to.

This is what I think. There are those of us who are good with people, who can read others like a book and know exactly what to do to make them A) feel good about themselves and what they do and B) smile. And then there are others who come at you like a freight train with their lack of personality and missing sense of humor, and it’s these people, who have no social skills, who out of jealousy, originally coined the phrase “ass-kisser”. Look, I’m sorry I not only know more about our job than you, but that people also like me better. It’s not my fault the big bosses come to me first, even though you are technically “in charge”. I can’t help that I am the person people want to go to lunch with and take to various duty-related trips.

It’s not my fault that you can’t capitalize so successfully on not just your positives but also your negatives the way I do. I’m an airhead? Yup. I talk to much? Sure do! Dramatic? Uh-huh. Emotional? I know! Isn’t it great?

So. Go ahead and try to push my buttons, and then get mad when I don’t respond the way you hoped. It’s fun for me. And also? It won’t change anything. I’ll still compliment the people across the hall on their choice of ties, and I’ll still be the person they come to when they want the job to get done.

Yeah. I’m pretty much not going to change.

God. Two posts on two different blogs took me three hours, and now? It’s bedtime. Crap.

Tschuss!!

Whoa, you guys, when your kids are gone for two months you forget how much time it takes to be an involved parent. Believe it or not, the only time I’ve been on the computer in the last two days is last night after 10pm, when I sat down to type up a chore list and schedule. Christ on a cracker.

…ha ha ha! I have been dying to type that for so long! It’s ridiculously and really out-of-proportionately funny to me. Anyway…on with it!

The most exciting thing happened today! See, after years (seriously, years, it was so dumb) of discussion and testing and re-dos and more testing, the Air Force has come out with a new uniform! Yes! And it looks completely different….

…god. The church people just came for the third time, and I had to tell them to not come back. That was awful, and I wanted to lie.

So, yeah, the new uniform, called an ABU (annnndddd I don’t know what that stands for) is completely different than our current uniform. This one is lighter in color, with light green and blue and gray stripes, and tan t-shirts, and green boots.

“They” just started shipping the uniform items out to the bases, and it’s hard to get ahold of anything right now, but today I managed to score a pair of boots, one ABU shirt, three tan t-shirts, one pair of green socks, one regulation belt, and three sets of stripes–two Tech Sergeant, which I am now, and one Master Sergeant, which is the rank I just made. I’m totally stoked. I love new clothes!

So remember I told you recently about my favorite band O.A.R.? I didn’t say much, but what I did say was something along the lines of the best band of all the bands ever in the entire universe. Which: seriously. I can never stay in a bad mood when listening to O.A.R. Some people (Angel) think they are boring, but I think those people (Angel) are high. Anyway, so imagine my shock and immediate envy when my friend Nick, who is stationed in Iraq right now, randomly told me in a bit of throw-away small chat “…and tomorrow night some band called O.A.R. is coming to play for us. I haven’t heard of them.”

You guys! I was so…man. I was all at once jealous, and excited for Nick, and jealous, and happy the band is cool enough to do nice things, and totally jealous. I told Nick they were my favorite, and gave him tons of O.A.R. trivia, and told him all of my favorite songs, and that he was the luckiest. And that he would have a great time, the best, and to enjoy it for me, which he did, to both. And now he is also an O.A.R. fan (as everyone should be), so it was worth it.

But still, jealous. Consumed with it. I actually found myself desperately wishing I was in Iraq. For one second. And then I turned my iPod on and listened to O.A.R. exclusively for two days, and felt better.

God. Being a distracted parent totally brings out the ramble…I’m going now.

Tschuss!!