ammogirl

Since my daughters have been back (Friday afternoon - that’s three days. THREE.) I have replaced the toilet paper in the upstairs bathroom twice, and the downstairs bathroom once. Two of those replacements happened before 4am Saturday morning, i.e. less than 24 hours after they got home. We had a bit of a talk on Saturday about the importance of using exactly the right amount of toilet paper, which, for the record, is not half a roll every time you pee.

The current roll, on it’s last legs, managed to last nearly two days. If things continue on in this manner, I might not be able to send them to college. However, we are virtually guaranteed to never be able to provide enough material to TP houses, so that’s good.

Remember how I talked about how if I had gone to the airport on the wrong day, that when the girls failed to get off the plane I would’ve freaked out? Well. WELL.

I got to the airport at 9:30 am on Friday, well ahead of their 10:18 am arrival. I located their gate, and settled in directly in front of it with a book, and when their flight landed, I positioned myself dead center at the door. And then I waited. And waited and waited and waited, and after an hour, I began saying this in my head: pleasepleasepleasepleaseplease. At one hour 15 minutes, I went to information, and while switching between long stares of terror at the gate and quick stabs at eye contact with the info guy, I loudly (and panic-ly) said “mydaughters! 10:15! the flight has dropped off the screen! unaccompanied!!!!” Info guy calmly told me the baggage was still arriving, and to be patient. Right. So impatiently faking patience, I walked back over to the gate and slowly began to…freak the fuck out.

Seriously, you guys. I couldn’t leave, because what if they came out? And where would I go? Where else could they be? Horrible scenarios started flashing through my mind: they were lost in the airport (it’s confusing, the ol’ Frankfurt International), they had been stolen, they had fallen out of the airplane…it was getting bad in my mind. And then, all of a sudden, I caught a glimpse of Lindsey through the doors. Well, I tell you, I have never been so relieved in my entire life.

Apparently, when kids fly unaccompanied on that particular airline, upon arrival they are escorted to a special holding area for parental collection, and THEN you take them yourself to baggage and customs. The thing is, I didn’t know. Now I do, but holy crap what a way to learn. I don’t think I have ever cried out of sheer relief.

Whatever, they’re home now, and toilet paper usage has increased dramatically, and there is no such thing as a silent moment, and I have to make dinner every night again. And…it’s pretty fabulous.

Tschuss!!