ammogirl

My worst nightmare has come true. We officially own a mini-van. No, I don’t want to talk about it. Yes, it will make travelling much easier. Yes, dammit, it’s comfortable and roomy.

Sighhhh.

Tschuss!!

…by open-bar parties, the ensuing hangovers, belated birthday dinners, and a rousing and thorough fall cleaning in preparation for the arrival of our very good friends in 2 or so weeks.

I sang karaoke the other night.  In a bar, in front of random bar-goers and all of my co-workers, my friend Julie and I sang a duet.

This morning, I was told by those same co-workers that the song we we collaborated on was “Man, I Feel Like a Woman!” and also that I should not pursue anything related to any sort of vocal entertainment, including laugh tracks or background coughing during cold medicine commercials.  I gently reminded them I had told them I loved doing karaoke, not that I was good at it.  There is a difference between the two that is approximately the same distance as the one between our planet and the sun.  Now they know.

Okay.  I have “other things” to do at this moment in time, which might or might not be 2pm on a work day.  You know, like…work.

Tschuss!!

Hey, that whole terror plot in Germany thing? Well, you might have heard the terms “U.S. Headquarters in Europe” and “Ramstein AB” being bandied about in regards to targets. You guys, that is where I work. So that’s fun. Hi, glad I’m still here to post for you!

In other news, would you believe the first I heard of this whole situation was from multiple friends emailing me the link from Fox fucking news? Not one word from the base at all. To this very minute, we still have had no word, and you all probably know more about the situation than I do. I have to say, that’s slightly irritating. Say something, you know? Aren’t the powers that be aware that I have an innate ability to be dramatic about anything, and rampant rumours make it worse? God.

However, what’s exciting about this is if you watch the news, it’s all being filmed right here, so you can see where I live and work! Notice the rain! It’s great! I drive a black car, I’ll wave if I see a camera.
Anyway, I forgot to tell you something. The other day before my race, I was standing around with my team trying to stay warm in my sports bra and tank top combo when I felt something moving in my cleavage-y area. It felt sort of like…when your necklace falls into place. I thought to myself, “That’s weird, I thought I took my necklace off AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” That last part, by the way, was not to myself. No, I definitely said that outloud, because…

…when I looked down, I saw, sitting right in between my boobs, a three-inch bright green grasshopper. It had hopped right in. Well! You can imagine that I was NOT happy about this turn of events, and ran around nearly undressing myself trying to get that thing out, but they STICK. It wouldn’t budge! Finally, after I had managed to attract the attention of oh…ALL the people there, I was able to scoop that thing out and throw it to the ground, where the four-year-old daughter of my team-mate immediately spotted it and said “Daddy! Grasshopper!” all awe-like and picked it up to play. Pshhh. Let it jump in HER bra and see how she likes it.

Well, that’s it for today. Excuse me while I go be vigilant for imminent and massive terror attacks.

Tschuss!!