ammogirl

While reading Popsugar a little bit ago I saw an interesting link that after around 17 click throughs landed me at my final destination: The twenty most horrifyingly bad for you foods that you can eat (and be careful, some of your favorites are probably on here) in America. Or, to paraphrase: The 20 Worst Foods In America.

I don’t know why I read it, except for the shock factor, and also I was positive nothing I eat would be on there, because I’m Healthy and Make Smart Choices! Right? Well, Christ on a cracker, was I ever wrong. Fish Tacos? Chicken Burritos? Chocolate Chip Paradise Pie (the best chain-food dessert ever imagined)? And to top if off, the number one entry is my whole family’s number one? What the hell?! Why?

If I could just pick one thing that was free, in that you could eat it endlessly without any ill-effects, I would without a doubt pick cheese. Not any one cheese, just cheese in general. Besides the awful taste it leaves in your mouth, it is the best.

Here’s a story for you: shortly after John and I first started dating, the girls went to their dad’s for the summer. John and I were both working a swing shift (or opposite shifts…or…something. Not important.) and quick meals were the order of the day. Well. We became addicted to quesadillas, in a bad way. You know those 5 lb blocks of Tillamook Sharp Cheddar? The most fabulous cheese on the planet? We were going through two of those a week. Ten pounds of cheese. Between the two of us. That’s so gross to think about. Yet, tasty, as well.

Anyway, the point of that is I love cheese, and I wish anything that contained it was not included on that stupid list. Which…I really wish I had never read.

Okay this is the last day of November and therefore the last day of Nablopomo and although I loved posting every day (except the three days before I started), I’m glad it’s over, okay bye.

Tschuss!!

So, hey, I don’t want anymore kids. I have some already, and two is quite enough, thanks. But every time people find out that the girls are John’s stepkids, they assume we are desperate to have our own, and not only is that annoying, it’s sort of rude, right? I say this because I for some reason today was thinking back to when I got my biopsy. When the surgeon was reviewing past surgeries with me and got to the one about tubal ligation he was all, “What? Why did you do that?” I was seriously taken aback and didn’t really know what to say besides, “Because I wanted to.” But, really, did I have to say any more than that? Mmmm…no.

Anyway today was actually a very productive day at work and it’s amazing how much more I can focus when I don’t have music on. I am one easily distracted person, for sure. I had all these things on my to-do list and took care of nearly all of them, and I have discovered something about myself that really simplifies every single thing I do. I can’t remember anything to save my own fucking life unless I have something in front of me to visually prompt me about whatever it is I’m supposed to be remembering. In regards to work, anyway. People run in our office twenty times a day and say, “Hey, remember that one thing…?” and while they are wayyyy more specific than that, no matter how much I squint my eyes and frown or think really really hard, I can never remember. Or, I remember, but exactly the wrong way, you know, instead of 1+1=2, I’ll remember 1+1=tangerine smoothies. But! When somebody runs in and hands me a piece of paper, even if the ONLY thing on the entire sheet of paper is the word two, I’ll instantly shout out, “1+1!”

Therefore, now anytime people come and ask me “do you remember”, I say, “no.” And then I say, “No, really, I really won’t remember.” And THEN I’ll say, “Look, I’m sorry but I have a giant hole where my work memory is, so give me one second to research my totally convoluted and only understood by me electronic filing system and I will get back with you.”

I’ve mentioned that everything I do is via email and three databases, right? Well, every single email I send out I cc: myself, and anything I do in the database I note the reference email in the remarks, and viola! Instant memory, just add computer.

Speaking of being distracted, John doesn’t ever let me drive when we are in the same car because while I am totally fine when I’m by myself OR when I’m with the girls (because believe it or not, I try to avoid fatal accidents when they are with me), when there are other adults in the car I am suddenly the world’s worst driver. For example, I have been driving for 20 years, and not once have I run a red light. Today, while ferrying people to the other side of base, I not only ran a red light, I TURNED LEFT on a red light. Now, I was in no danger of running into opposing vehicles because the lights here are weird and run one way at a time only. That’s why I turned, in fact, because the lane next to me, who were proceeding straight ahead, got their green light and started going, and I was so distracted by conversation that I lost my damn mind and forgot where I was and went too.

The people I was with (my boss, by the way, so: great) said, “Um…was that a green light, or…?” and I said, “Did I just run a red light? OH MY GOD I just ran a red light!” Then I became completely and deservedly embarrassed and ashamed and although I tried, found no way out of the ridicule I had garnered myself. I did try with, “Can we keep this a secret?” but that was met with a resounding, “ha ha ha!”

Fortunately, there was no cop to witness my departure from all things sane.

Tschuss!!

First of all, how did nobody ever tell me the wondrous invention that is a feed reader? Yes, yes…they are not new by any means, but why didn’t anyone stress the importance of them? I never even thought about trying them out until Pom mentioned she reads all of her blogs almost exclusively by a reader. Once she said that, I thought, well, hell, all the cool kids are doing it, and immediately set up Google reader with all my faves, and it is the best thing ever. One stop shopping! Or reading! Whatever!

Now, onto the the actual post…the ‘meat’, if you will. Kari tagged me with a meme today, so I am now required to come up with seven things you didn’t know about me. So: Seven Things You Didn’t Know About Me.

1. I am afraid of the dark. Terrified. I can scare myself terrified in a dark house in less than five minutes. And it’s not enough that I CAN do it, I am COMPELLED to do it. If I’m by myself, I have to have all the lights on in the house, and I mean ALL, and when I go to bed, all of those lights stay on. I don’t even have to be by myself! Many nights I’ve woken up, and while laying there unable to fall back to sleep, my mind will creeeeeepppp to that little door that exists in my imagination and open it right up. Instant scariness! I also think that adults really have a scam going. We tell our kids, “It’s just a dream! Go back to bed.” and then leave them by themselves in the dark, while we run back to our own bed complete with that extra person for protection. Or, if you are me, that extra person for the monster to get first. Either way, I feel bad for my girls, because I hate sleeping alone.

2. I went out with an amateur ice skater from Scotland once. He worked at a neighboring nursery, back in my tree nursery days, and my sister set me up with him, and it was hell. He took me to a party and then proceeded to dance some wild Pict dance straight from Braveheart, and if that wasn’t enough, PULLED ME IN THERE WITH HIM. We did not go out again.

3. The best work I do is when I am under a deadline with a tremendous amount of pressure over my head. Only then can I actually focus long enough to really be effective, and sometimes I surprise myself at the quality of work I can produce. Besides that, I’m actually fairly lazy.

4. I don’t have my college degree and at this point…doubt I ever will. I know, that’s bad, but jesus christ I hate doing stuff I don’t want to do. Here’s my rational: when I retire in five years, I will be 41. At that point, I am not willing or even the least bit interested in jumping into a brand new career. I’m just not. Also, John will still have like 97 years left before HE retires, and if we are moving around from place to place, I can’t exactly establish roots anyway. So. Instead, what I am going to do is become a certified personal trainer, and contract myself out to the base gym…the people that do that here at my base get paid $45 an hour. That way, I can work when I want, doing something I absolutely love, and basically be my own boss. Also, cute workout gear.

5. I like Miley Cyrus. I think she has a great voice, better than a lot of other singers out there. Whenever the girls and I drive somewhere, we always make sure she’s on the iPod before we go.

6. When I was little (reeeeallly little), I used to play with slugs. I thought they were my friends. That is gross.

7. I am extremely shy and reluctant to meet new people. I am very wordy and outgoing in the written word but in person, until I get to know you, I’m socially inept. The thing is, I am not good with, “Ohhh, that sounds so NICE! And really quite interesting!” and tend to be more of a, “what the fuck did you do THAT for? Let’s have wine!” type of person. That doesn’t really go over well when you JUST meet somebody, as you can imagine. Once we get to that point, though, I’m fiercely loyal and never shut up.

Phew. I’m supposed to tag people now, but I don’t want to. If you decide to do your own seven things, let me know in the comments!

Tschuss!!