ammogirl

Well, damn. The entire year is over! WTF, you guys? This has been the fastest year in my life. Let’s see…I spent January, February and March studying for my next stripe, April and May in various trips back to the states, found out I made that next stripe in June and went for a fabby vacay to see so many people who mean a whole lot to me in July. I almost went topless in August during our first visit to the Canary Islands, and then that whole biopsy thing, where I actually DID go topless, just in an operating room. John turned 30 in October, and the year-long secret of his entire family coming over to celebrate with us finally, finally came to an end, and we all had a great time all over Europe. And then, all of a sudden, it’s the last day of the year, day 365, and here we are.

Like everyone else, I make resolutions every year, and every year I break them. Last year I said I would keep in touch with everyone more–I’m pretty sure I still suck at that. But this year, I’m keeping my resolution. I swear!

See, sometimes there are those really coincidental things that you know really don’t mean anything for real, but if you are so inclined, you can attach a LOT of significance to them and use them to your advantage. You know what I mean? Well.

I have a friend, a girl I’ve known literally my entire life. Her mom was the delivery nurse when I was born, and this girl and I, although we have never been best friends per se, we have a connection that will always, always be there. A few months ago, she was diagnosed with colon cancer, and since then has had to endure both chemo and radiation treatments. It’s been hard on her, but she has always been upbeat, and the day after Christmas I got an email from her that said her tenacity paid off; the cancer was undetectable. She still has to get surgery in a few days, but the doctors are very, very optimistic. I was ecstatic to hear this, you can imagine.

The next day, we found out that John’s (and mine, really) surrogate grandfather is in hospice. With colon cancer.

I can’t overlook the coincidence of these things. Dawn is young, full of life, years ahead of her to experience new things. Sam is in his twilight years; he’s led a very full life, and is happy, and content, and ready. They have no knowledge of each other, these two very dear people in my life, but I can’t help but wonder if some deal was made–a trade, an old life for a new. Dawn’s cancer can’t be found, Sam’s is giving him less than 30 days.

You can interpret that anyway you want, or not at all. I’ve got a lot of thoughts about it, none of which I want to share but all of which work out to me honoring Sam and his love for life by finding my own. By not being afraid. By having courage.

By being adventurey.

To Sam. And to Dawn.

Happy New Year!

Tschuss!!