Apr 01
mouth, foot, blah
So Lindsey has this situation in her Language Arts class where she annoys her teacher by talking. Only it’s not the talking that annoys the teacher; it’s an interactive class and the students spend the entire two hours sometimes in discussion. Nope, what she likes to tell Lindsey on a regular basis is that she finds her actual voice annoying. This hurts Lindsey’s feelings in an “I’m a teenager and not really going to admit it and that shininess in my eyes is not tears” way, as I’m sure you can at least sort of imagine, because who does that? It’s not nice, and it pissed me off because, you know, the whole my kid thing and all. Tell her to be quiet a thousand times, sure, but tell the entire class you find her voice annoying?
Well.
When I got into work on Monday, I had an email in my inbox from this teacher about progress reports being emailed out, but didn’t see anything else. I thought, “oh! Well, this is a perfect opportunity to get all passive-aggressive with her, because I’m so very cool with my passive-aggressiveness.” I hit “reply” and huffily typed out,
“I never received a progress report. Also, just so you know, I talked to Lindsey about her annoying voice. Sorry about that, she gets it from me.”
And I hit send and felt pretty proud. Shortly, I got another email from the teacher, who said,
“I’ll resend the progress report. Also, just so you know, it isn’t Lindsey’s voice that’s annoying, it’s the high pitch and loudness. Lindsey herself is a lovely and outstanding student with whom I enjoy spending every minute of class.”
Hmph. Stupid bitchface, I thought, and replied some more.
“Oh, I understand you completely. I’ll keep an eye out for the progress report.”
I spent the rest of the day feeling pretty satisfied with myself, because it’s really cool to get into passive-aggressive email fights with your kid’s teacher, and when the progress report showed up again, I printed it out and signed it with a flourish.
That evening, I handed it to Lindsey and she told me she had already turned it in, signed and all, and I was like, ummm…what? And she said, “yeah, and it was really weird because Ms. Her Teacher was like, ‘did you forge this signature?’ and I told her no but she looked at me really weird.”
Oh. Hmm. Um…I was kidding? About the not receiving it? Ha ha…ha?
Boy, I bet Lindsey’s teacher really likes me now (but she still shouldn’t have said Lindsey’s voice is annoying, so there)!
Tschuss!!
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April 1st, 2008 at 7:34 pm
Actually clicking through RSS to leave a comment to say FUCK that fucker teacher!! She MOCKED you by using your exact wording in her reply! I hate her on your behalf.
April 1st, 2008 at 8:31 pm
I can’t believe that teacher thinks that is not rude to correct her on her actual VOICE?!
Since when is it not rude to chastise someone on something they were born with and cannot help/change?
The tone of her voice, yes, the frequency of speaking, yes. The sound of it?
Um, no.
I am not her Mom and I want to kick this teachers ass! OMG!
April 2nd, 2008 at 2:16 am
Try this one. I understand, it isn’t Lindsey’s voice that’s annoying, it’s the high pitch and loudness. Oh, by the way, Lindsey is having a difficult time learning in your class. It isn’t your teaching skills, it’s the distraction of the wrinkles on your face and your wobbling triceps that jiggle three times for every one movement you make.
April 2nd, 2008 at 5:36 am
I like Chris’ thinking!
April 2nd, 2008 at 3:04 pm
Grrrr!
April 2nd, 2008 at 3:51 pm
omg! I was for sure everyone would say I was overreacting and rude for taking offense–but now I feel totally validated. you guys are the coolest commenters.
April 2nd, 2008 at 5:27 pm
OK…I realize I’m commenting a day late, BUT…OMG! This teacher needs to fuck right off, and I do love what Chris said in the above comment and totally agree. Kudos to you on your e-mailing said teacher, I on the other hand, may not have been so “nice”.
April 3rd, 2008 at 5:16 am
Right on, Treena! Three cheers for passive-aggressive e-mails!! I have a feeling the teacher just made that shit up to try and make it look like you were overreacting and she wasn’t in the wrong. Too bad her explanation sucks!
Also, can you e-mail me their shoe sizes…I think I have a pair of snowboarding boots for each of them to wear so they don’t have to wear rental boots. 
p.s. Tell the girls hi and we can’t wait to see them here in Tahoe! KK has a few cliff drops all ready for them!
Miss you and love you!
(wow, sorry for the family talk on your blog site…I’m a few glasses of wine deep!)
April 4th, 2008 at 6:23 pm
Kori – ahh! all i can ever think about when you comment is Kori commented on my blog! So I have nothing to comment to your comment.
Lisa – I gave your mommy the shoe sizes. They are so excited to see you guys. Love you!
April 7th, 2008 at 7:07 pm
I agree w/ everyone else on the teacher, however, I might’ve been a little (a lot) more self-righteous and diret myself. Something to the effect of: I would sincerely appreciate it if you could provide constructive criticism and/or discipline when Lindsay speaks out of line or is too chatty by pulling her aside rather than announcing to the class that her voice is ‘annoying’. If you expect a child to respect you, you might try showing them some as well, but just a suggestion.’ And then I’d end.. btw.. fuck off.
Kidding..