May 23
clarification
So, because my sentence structure sucks, I think maybe confused some of you with my retell of the rumor. I didn’t mean it happened AT the highschool, during school hours, I meant it was supposedly a high school girl and her high school boyfriend. I hope that un-shocks some of you. Also, I want to clear something up: I was shocked by the phrase that Lindsey used with me, not the fact that she knew it or was telling me this story. You guys. These are teenagers in 2008. Are any of you (especially those of you I went to highschool with) honestly going to tell me you (we) didn’t talk like that when we were 14? I was a freshman when I was 14, andddd…I don’t know what school you guys were at but at good ol’ Taft High, I was talking about sex. In fact, I mean, not to burst anyone’s bubble, but I was barely 16 my first time and I know that was older than a good percentage of the girls in my class, so. I’m just sayin.
You know what the difference is? Lindsey feels comfortable enough with me to tell me about this rumor she heard. I know I would never have (and still wouldn’t, I’m not kidding) talk to my mom about ANYTHING remotely resembling “doing it”, oral or not, and I am really glad my daughter did and does. Of course I don’t want her to ever, ever, EVER, not until she’s dead, and maybe not even then, have sex, but YOU GUYS. At one point she is going to, (not any time soon, mind you) and when that time comes…I want her to tell me about it to prevent a couple things, those being stds and me becoming a grandmother.
Let me repeat: teenagers KNOW ABOUT SEX. They TALK ABOUT SEX. It’s true. Stop being horrified.
Anyway, now that I’ve gotten that off my chest, I have a situation I actually WANT your opinion on.
Taylor is failing a class. She’s failing it horribly, despite the fact that every single day when I review her day with her, she says she’s doing good. I mean, I knew she was struggling in Math, because she has been all year. But up until last week, struggling meant a C…a low C, mind you, but still, a C. Today I got her progress report and what was her grade? A big fat ass F. Why? Hell if I know! I mean, I know why she’s failing: three missing assignments, a zero on a binder check, and a 56 on a quiz. But! Last Friday, when I asked her about missing assignments, she said to me: “No, those are not missing. I do NOT have a ZAP (Zeroes Aren’t Permitted) form, I checked with Ms. Reeves, and all of my assignments are in.” and Tuesday, when she took the quiz: “Oh, Mommy! I took my quiz today and I feel good about it. I’m pretty sure I did really, really good!” and the binder check? Ughh…don’t even ask. That’s literally a check of her binder. And she recieved a zero. I went to the school and called her out of class and said to her, “Taylor. You have an F in Math. You told me you did not have missing assignments, SPECIFICALLY these three missing assignments. WHY did you lie to me, and WHY DID YOU NOT TURN THEM IN?” Her answer? “…I don’t know.”
I was like, fine. I will see you at home. And then I came home and took away her computer, although it won’t do anything, because she has spent 75% of this past school year grounded from: sleepovers, the phone, her laptop, the tv, her iPod, video games, music, laughing, drinking water, opening her eyes, and breathing. Okay, maybe those last few are a lie but the rest are not! I’ve even made her, at times, go to detention ON PURPOSE! I’ve had meetings with the counselor. I’ve had meetings with her teachers. I have an ENTIRE FOLDER devoted to email correspondence with her teachers, and it has close to 300 emails. I’ve lectured, I’ve yelled, I’ve pleaded, I’ve badgered and hounded and short of doing her homework for her and/or sitting in class and turning in her assignments, there is nothing else I can do. I’d put her in Summer School, but she won’t be here, and I’d kill her, but that’s illegal.
I know it’s the end of the year, there are only three weeks left and at best all she can hope for is a D in Math, but what can I do? She still has five years left, and if I have to do this for the entire time, I will die.
Oh, and before anyone suggests maybe she doesn’t understand the material, she tested into this class and was recommended by last year’s Math teacher. You know, last year, when she was getting straight As. And her Terra Nova test scores have her in the 89th percentile in Math, so.
Yeah, I’m at my wit’s end. I have no idea what to do at this point. Help.
Tschuss!!!
May 23rd, 2008 at 4:21 pm
So, I being the first to comment I’d like to start off by saying yes, I know at ol’ Taft High we were talking about sex at our girls’ ages, and my girls at the above mentioned school, I know they are too. But, yeah, it was the part about talking about “eating her out” that got my goat. Anyway, onward w/ the Taylor subject…boy oh boy. I’d say give her a year and I bet she improves w/ the math thing. Sometimes its the way that particular teacher is teaching it. I think Kaela had the same thing going on last year and this year she’s better. Good luck with that. Love ya!
May 23rd, 2008 at 10:24 pm
Uh…you know I have the same kid, right, only male? I have no insight, dude. They are just fricking aggravating, these kids.
May 24th, 2008 at 2:39 pm
Kori - I do know the teacher sucks, I’ve had many meetings with her and she’s really spiteful. Hopefully next year changes…
Jane - I know. They suck, really.
May 24th, 2008 at 4:48 pm
Has this happened before, in a different class or different year? I’m wondering if it’s a passive rebellion against her current sucky teacher. I can understand the lack of motivation in a class where the teacher seems out to get you. Oh, and any idea how her friends do in school?
May 24th, 2008 at 10:19 pm
fg - No. Up until this point, she’s been straight A. It’s true that she tends to give up in the face of this particular teacher, because no matter what she does, it’s the wrong thing. And her friends all do well…they are consistently on the Principal’s (4.0) Honor Roll.
May 25th, 2008 at 6:28 am
If she’s a straight A student, and her friends are, I really think it’s an isolated incident. Maybe her lesson to be learned here is that there will always be shitty teachers, bosses, managers, etc. but in spite of that you still have to do your best. Will she have to retake the class with the same teacher? That would be crappy.
The crappy thing about math is that you take it for so long and that it’s always building on what you learned previously. Even though she’s perfectly capable of learning this year’s math, if she doesn’t because of her psycho teacher it could make math later on a lot harder.
but um…what do i know about kids? or girls? I think I’m much to immature and irresponsible here to be giving any sort of advice.
May 25th, 2008 at 4:29 pm
My advice is drink heavily until she graduates
I graduated high school a virgin but that didn’t mean I wasn’t thinking about it 24×7 and I know we talked about it a lot.
May 26th, 2008 at 2:03 am
having been a secretive math failure myself (although it was lazyness, as opposed to lack of ability), i’d say although it will be a complete suck of time… but to sit down with her every night, and see the homework, see the binder, before a quiz, see the study (we used to have assigned problems for quiz study). i did it out of pure boredom. i knew i got math, but my teacher was a joke. i pretty much felt like blowing it off, and got away with it, because my mom trusted that i was getting it done. then i did the same thing in chemistry. if i had to apply myself on homework, i wasn’t interested. it seemed enough to me that i did the classwork, and did it well. being at home, i just wanted to do what i wanted to do… anyway, my $.02. if she knows you’re following up with every little detail, maybe she’ll be motivated to show you she can do it, as opposed to maybe a teacher she could care less about. when i started realizing that i could get a c and the world didn’t fall apart (i’d had pretty much straight a’s for life) i felt like i could relax a bit. that meant slacking off. i’d never done that… just thought i’d pipe in, hope it all works out !
May 26th, 2008 at 9:57 am
FG - Maybe you know nothing about kids but the advice you gave was pretty sound.
Chris - I wish. Somehow, though, I don’t think that would send the right message
IB - that is great advice, but I’ve tried that too. She can have the assignment in hand, completed, and then just forget to turn it in the next day. She’s easily distracted, this wonderful girl who is my baby.
May 26th, 2008 at 4:18 pm
Ugh - we are having the beginning of a similar problem with our eldest. I’d say that the first thing to do would be for the two of you to sit down and have what we call in our house, “A Come-to-Jesus-Meetin’” so that you can really understand what is going on. Is it that she hates the teacher? If so, maybe the solution is for her to buckle down and work her butt off to shove it in this teacher’s face until the end of the year. Is it that she’s bored because the work is too easy so she just zones out and doesn’t pay attention? Maybe she needs to understand that there will be times in her life when this will be the case and it’s her responsibility to plow through it, anyway.
I honestly don’t know. But from my experience with my daughter, I know that she lies to me because she doesn’t want to seem imperfect in my eyes and she’s afraid of me getting angry or disappointed in her. The only way to get her to be honest with me is to swear on a stack of Hannah Montana CDs that I won’t utter a word of judgement - only love - while she’s baring her soul to me.
Good luck. Love you!
May 29th, 2008 at 8:33 pm
Yup.. it’s the teacher. I was going to say she doesn’t want to seem smarter than her friends.. but if her friends are doing well, she’s acting out against the teacher. Or she believes that the teacher thinks she’s worthless so she also believes that. Can you talk to the principle about this specific teacher?