ammogirl

Note to self:  don’t ever try to travel anywhere in Germany without your gps.  Never ever ever ever.  Even when it’s a town approximately five miles away.  ESPECIALLY when it’s a town approximately five miles away.

So, I’m supposed to be at yoga class right now, but I am not.  Because of the being lost thing.  And small villages with blocked roads and confusing detours.  And no GPS.  I thought everything was fine until I got to a t-junction, with a sign that read: <–Jettenbach/Rothlesberg–> (portrayal completely inaccurate due to poor memory).  I was a wee bit confused because I could have sworn I had just driven past a sign that said: ‘YOU ARE IN KOLLWEILER RIGHT NOW, GOOD JOB’, and thought I should be looking for Leila’s road, not other towns.  But I paused for a moment and consulted with my non-existent inner compass and decided Jettenbach sounded like the direction I wanted to go, and headed that way.  And immediately drove past a sign that said: ‘HEY DUMMY, YOU ARE DRIVING OUT OF THE TOWN YOU WANT TO BE IN’.  I thought, “hmm” and kept driving, thinking surely that couldn’t be right, because if it was, then the town of Kollweiler was about 50 yards long and nothing resembling the town I picture in my head when I think, ‘Kollweiler’.  Five minutes later, I had driven through Jettenbach and continued on down what quickly turned into a nearly one lane road, thinking perhaps I had been incorrect earlier, and that Kollweiler was still ahead of me.  Shortly after I narrowly missed dying tragically in a horrific head-on collision, brought about mostly by speeding (me) and inattention (…me), I decided to turn around and head back towards the t-junction again.  On the way back, I passed a sign that said: ‘THIS IS THE TOWN LEILA LIVES IN’ and thought, “what the hell, SIGN?”

This is when I glanced at the clock and noticed I wouldn’t be late to yoga…if I was driving a TIME MACHINE.  Still, I was intent on finding what I was looking for, so I headed towards Rothlesberg, once again encountering a sign that said, ‘YOU REALLY SUCK AT NAVIGATION’.  Much like the previous wrong way I had just driven, I ended up down a country road I have never been down, and knowing that I was, at this point, not doing anything involving A) Yoga B) Leila’s house or C) DIRECTIONAL ACUITY, turned around and headed back home.  This time when I saw the signs Wilkommen-ing me to and Auf Weidersehen-ing me from Kollweiler, I yelled something like, “LYING CRAPPYPANTS SIGN” and flipped it off.  But not really.  Mostly I was debating internally with myself about whether or not it actually WAS Kollweiler Leila lived, or if maybe it was KoTweiler, and I was just dumb.

When I walked in the door back at home, John said, “Back already?” and I said, “What town do they live in?  Kollweiler, right?” and when that was confirmed, told him about the closed road and my ill-guided attempt to navigate blind by going the way I did, and John said, “Oh.  THAT way is hard.”

Oh.  Really?

Tschuss!!

Today was a wash in terms of good/bad, with the first half really awful, and the second half really great.  The awful part was due to my horrendous procrastinating, which led to me starting from scratch the briefing I am giving for an upcoming conference at 3:45 pm this afternoon.  Thing is, that briefing was due at 4pm.  I just really, really, really, really, REALLY, really really don’t want to give this briefing, and tried everything to get out of it, including begging, sad faces, fake crying, demanding, and laying on the floor in despair.  You think I’m kidding.

Between 3:45 and 4:45 I made some pretty significant progress, but gave up and transferred everything to a stick so I can…work on it at home I KNOW IT SUCKS SO BAD.  BECAUSE, do you know what else I have to do this weekend?  Write two papers for class, which are due Monday.  Again: procrasti-fucking-nation.  Ugh.  What is wrong with me?

On top of that, the Fiesta is tomorrow, so you KNOW I’m not going to be in any shape to do neither briefings OR school papers.  I’m SO EXCITED.

The good part of the day happened over at Shannon’s, where her, Leila and I chopped up enough onions and peppers to feed the entire population of Germany.  Then, because there was no way I was chopping cilantro, mainly because oh it’s disgusting and smells like death, I had to chop up the habaneros.  With my hands.  I mean, with a knife, but by hand.  My fingers are burning up, even after repeated washings and lemon rinses, and yes, I know not to touch my eyes.  I actually am still awake right now only because I can’t figure out how to wash my face.  Or, for that matter, pee, because while I do use toilet paper (obviously), I’m afraid of maybe accidentally touching something and causing a little bit of private area pain, otherwise known as Habanero Hooha.

For real, though.  How am I supposed to pee?  I’m scared to wipe!

Tschuss!!

I’m quite certain I accidently took 3 times the dosage of Zoloft I’m supposed to take last night.  I know!  I’m so dumb.  And NO, I didn’t do it purposefully.  What happened was, I had tennis late last night, and when I got home I was immediately caught up in this book I’m reading.  It took me some time to get in the shower, and as I was lotioning up my face I realized I hadn’t taken my meds, and headed downstairs.

Now, you must understand I was COMPLETELY ENGULFED in this book, and as a result, that’s all I had running through my mind as I headed to the kitchen.  I noticed the cat has been eating my spiderplant so that it’s all cropped down, and had a drink of water, and then headed out the door.

As I walked out, I thought, “WAIT.  Did I take my pill?”  And for the life of me, I COULD NOT REMEMBER.  I could vaguely remember maybe, perhaps, possibly taking a pill, but when I looked in the bottle, there was still a half-tab in there, half-tabs being my dosage.  I tried to count down how many pills I had left, but quickly gave that up and decided I had NOT taken a pill, and took the half-tab.

Are you following me so far?  I know it’s confusing.

As I walked upstairs it came to me that what I might have done is grabbed the bottle, meaning to take a whole pill out to split it, got distracted by the plant, and took the whole pill, and THEN, took another half.  I figured it wasn’t going to kill me, because, I mean, it was only 150mg, and that’s a regular dose for some people.  So I went to bed.

This morning, after spending an awful night doing everything but sleeping, I felt hazy, and queasy, and exhausted, and like I hadn’t woke up yet.  My hands were shaking like crazy, and that was really annoying because putting mascara on when your hand is waving around like a…something, is very, very hard.

I looked up Zoloft on drugs.com when I got to work and after brushing up on the side-effects of taking Zoloft for the first time or increasing your dosage, I confirmed that indeed, I am totally negligent with my meds.

This week has been really hectic, because of classes starting, and me being lazy, and dumb enough to start reading the first part of an amazingly good trilogy.  But it’s almost over, so that’s okay.  There’s a party this weekend for me and one of my coworkers who put on his MSgt stripe the same day as me, and I challenged like, the whole world to Rock Band.  I don’t know what I was thinking.

Tschuss!!