ammogirl

Today, I got my Slanket in the mail.  IT. IS. FUCKING AWESOME!  When these things first started showing up in commercials I laughed with everybody else but secretly I was like, damn, that’s sort of…a good idea, really.  And then I promptly forgot about it like I do most things in my life like, birthdays and communicating with friends and family.  But then two weeks ago I went to the best hair girl EVER Casey and she was in a state of high excitement because on that day she had received in the mail HER blanket with sleeves (NOT a Slanket, but a Snuggie.  I prefer Slankets, FYI) and after checking hers out and discussing the pros (there are no cons) (unless you count looking like a wizard/monk as a con) I thought, well, GOSH, I WANT ONE TOO.  And also Casey colored and cut my hair so exceedingly well that MY OWN DAUGHTERS were like, DANG, mom, you look GREAT and I thought, THE POWER OF THE ARMED BLANKET MUST BE MINE.

So.

I immediately came home and researched the different types, decided I wanted the Slanket, and ordered three.  No, not all for me, silly, but for the girls too.  They were shipped separately (I don’t know why, perhaps because they are TOO AWESOME to be shipped together.  Like, they cannot be contained more than one to a box) but whatever, I received mine and when I got home I immediately put it on and jumped around the house surprising the other occupants with its greatness.  Lindsey: You look like a wizard Taylor: Hi Harry Potter.  You actually got a SLANKET? (with the most ginormous amount of derision and ridicule that you can possibly imagine in her voice) me: Yes!  And I got you one too! Taylor: !!! REALLY!!! (with unmeasurable amounts of happiness because secretly EVERYONE WANTS AN ARMED BLANKET).

Anyway!  Right now I am on my bed,  laying on top of my covers but feelin’ totally comfy because HI THIS THING IS AWESOME.  Why didn’t I think of this?  It’s perfect!  I LOVE ARMED BLANKETS.

I had to shovel my driveway three times today and you know what?  I would not be wasting my time if I went out and did it again.  But I can’t shovel in my Slanket.  So I won’t.