ammogirl

So we went to the Heidelberg zoo today, Lindsey, Taylor, Lexi, James and I, and had a kick-ass time!  It was a lot of fun, even though it was cold and cloudy and wet and muddy.  It took us about four hours to see the whole compound, with additional time spent in the monkey house.  Where we were ATTACKED BY A MAD CHIMPANZEE!  Yes, it’s true, and I have video.  Which most of you have probably already seen via my Facebook, but  JUST IN CASE:

Does that work?  Did I actually get something to work in my blog? It looks like it works from here…Hot damn!  Four + years later, I might be figuring this stuff out.

Anyway so this guy was just chillaxin in his little monkey hut, and as we were watching he got up and walked over to the play area and grabbed a ball.  ”Oh look!”  I said, “He’s dribbling that ball!  Awwww!”  The rest you can see for yourself but trust me when I say that in the video, our reaction seems toned down.  Which it was not.

Afterwards he went to his original location and started kissing the window.  I would put my hand up to him and he would put his there too, and we made faces at each other for awhile until his faces started looking slightly menacing.  At this point we weren’t messing around when this guy started looking pissed so off we went.

On the way home we were all tired and cold and boy the drive really sucked for me but look!  We all made it back alive somehow with no issues. Really.

I know that you should never just wish time to fly by but right now, that’s what I’m doing.  I want to leave here SO BAD.  I’m at 32 days left and every day is just another 24 hours to get through.  I get up, I stay occupied, and I go to bed with a smile knowing another day is down.  The girls are occupied with their friends/boyfriend, so I’m just doing whatever.

Germany has been great, don’t get me wrong.  I’ve loved my time here and at my going away on the 11th of June I know that without a doubt I will cry my eyes out.  But more than anything I miss my husband.  Our schedules are exactly off, so that we get one window of communication daily–after I get off work and before he goes to class.  Man I am whining a lot.  I’ll stop.

So.  What is this new place I’m moving to?  Well, I’m headed to Dyess AFB, in Abilene.  It’s a bomber base, meaning instead of fighter aircraft (the F- type, like F-16 etc) they have bombers (B-1).  That right there is a complete change of pace for me as I have never worked bombers, and I know it’s a different world–much slower paced.  The tentative plans have me as the NCOIC of Munitions Control, something I am pretty excited about.  I worked control when I was in Alaska and I looooooooved it.  However, I’m totally nervous about being a shop chief, because this will be my first experience at it.  In fact, this will be my first foray into the bomb dump as a Master, AND it marks a return to the bomb dump, period, after my four years at HQ.  Am I nervous, hell yeah.  Everyone wants to kick ass, you know?  Anyway, so Abilene, from what I hear, is a slow-paced town, smaller, but I think I might like it.  I’m actually pretty optimistic about it, and I’m trying to remain open-minded about Texas.  Not too excited about the teaching curriculum there, but you know what?  I have faith the girls will choose the path they are meant to choose, based on the tools I have given them.

Sorry for the introspective, low-key posts after so long away–right now I think I just need to rely on this as my sounding board, instead of a means of entertainment.  I keep thinking I want to just give it up completely but every time I make that decision I can’t actually execute it.  I just need to find my voice again.

You know, I knew parenting and specifically being a mom was and is always going to be a mostly thankless job but for cripe’s sake just once it would be nice to be appreciated when you AREN’T doing something for your children.  And also, isn’t it funny how EVERYTHING is your fault?  Who knew I was dumb AND forgetful?  What’s my name?

Seriously.

Dear daughters who I love with all my heart and for whom I would and do 99.9% of the time bend backwards for,

Can you please, just once, ONE TIME, when you are hungry and it is dinner time and I am CLEARLY TIRED and exhausted and not at all in a mood to cook, not get all weird when I say I don’t really feel like cooking?  You know, like, not make pointed sighing statements about going somewhere else or just finding something.  You are capable, I know this because you both can do pretty much anything you put your mind to.  I am enabling you to fend for yourselves some nights.

Love, mom

P.S. Surprising me with dinner one night would get you so many brownie points you can’t even imagine.  Try it!  I dare you!

AGH.